My new #rulebreakers movement was birthed from a collection of moments deep in hyper-flow while writing my upcoming book Game ON.
In my book, I talk about how to say yes first and think later, and how to do it from a place of knowing that you are meant to have, do and BE something greater than the average person who spends a lifetime thinking, feeling, acting and obtaining results like life is happening to them and not like that they are 100% co-creators of it.
I talk a lot about reaching a level of profound self-awareness where only internal transparency, truth and self-love with and for ALL (soul-mind-heart-body) yourSELF exist.
Because part of that truth is that until you DECIDE to do something about it, you/we are just another mindless robot following the herd and playing by someone else’s rules –
sometimes, okay, MOST of the time, that “someone else” is an old version of you that needs to DIE.
You see, every next level I have ever achieved, has happened for me from a place of stretching the self and society-created lines and busting through them by deciding that I was going to find a way, MY way –
no matter how it was already being done or what seemed to be responsible, feasible or doable.
Every single time, I had no idea exactly HOW what I wanted was going to happen for me, but I knew it was going to happen; and I knew I was going to have to kick my own ass to set myself free from the auto-pilot robot rules.
I was in my early 20s and decided to pursue my dream of living in New York City even though I had never been there, and had no family, friends, money saved or any idea how I was going to get there. That didn’t stop me.
I started looking for jobs in New York not knowing how I was going to make it to the interviews as they started coming in.
My stories to potential employers about moving there in the near-future caught up to me and eventually I missed a few opportunities, but within a couple of months, even as I wasn’t able to make it up to New York a second time to interview after my first failed attempt left me even more broke, a company wanted to hire me, REALLY BAD!
The interviewing manager flew from her Dallas office to their Jacksonville office to interview me since I couldn’t make it to New York again. All I had to do was drive from South Florida to North Florida — a trip I had also never made and wasn’t sure if my car would survive, but I said yes anyway.
And when my new job in New York promoted me within months of working there shinning a light so bright on me one of the vendors made me a job offer I couldn’t refuse, so I said yes to a bump in learning, salary, bonuses, growth opportunities and my dreams of one day traveling the world.
And when that same job opened a new position in the Consulting department, and even though I hadn’t been in my new position not even a year, I said yes to myself, I applied, and got the job, traveling the world as a Global Business and Risk Consultant.
And a few years later when that same amazing Consulting job offered me an all-expense paid corporate relocation to beautiful Denver, CO; and I said no to the corporate move and YES to quitting to start my own consulting firm that grew to six figures within 60 days of its launch into the world.
Or when I thought divorce was going to strip me of who I am, so I told myself I couldnt continue being the badass successful entrepreneur I am AND a mom to a 3 year old boy also going through the hellish divorce with me, so I closed down my first multiple six figure business and hid from the world for a couple of years.
Until I couldn’t stand it anymore. I couldnt stand my own bullshit. My stories, fears, excuses and reasons as to why I had ALLOWED that divorce to strip parts of me away.
Then I realized that I had done it again. I had gone back to being a mindless robot, a statistic of divorce, broke, miserable, and hanging onto my child like he was the only way I could validate my existence.
I never went back to corporate, but I was the side hustle queen for those couple of years, and I hated it.
So I came back in full force ready to share my story and gifts with the world and ready to say yes and ask questions later.
The second time around wasn’t as easy as the first because this time, I wasn’t hiding behind a mask of 100% business, risk, finance and other misaligned niche-y targets.
This time, I had to be vulnerable, authentic, raw and real.
First with myself, and then with the world if I was going to truly answer the highest calling there is:
It wasn’t easy. I gave up and restarted being a “coach” more times than I can count in the past 5 years, but I never gave up on myself.
I could never quiet the messages from within, feelings and calling to follow my purpose.
Every time Ive decided that there is no other choice but the NEXT LEVEL, it was by shattering my own ceilings, challenging my own limits, and saying yes to what I knew to be right for me even if I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it happen, to the world thought I wasn’t ready, prepared or experienced enough to make those kinds of leaps.
There are countless more examples I could give from my life, businesses, relationships and even dropping 70+ pounds TWICE, but I think you’re starting to get the point.
When I talk about breaking rules, I’m not talking about breaking the law or going against some sort of authority.
I’m not talking about crapping on your boss’ desk, or licking medical supplies at the doctor’s office.
And I am not talking about speeding, even though I have been known to exceed the speed limit once or twice (or I’ve lost count, but not the point!)
I’m talking about doing what others won’t do, to have, do and be who and how you REALLY want — who you’ve always been.
Who you forgot you ARE because old programming, hard times and life taught you to forget; so instead, you could be someone more acceptable, well-behaved, herd-like and “normal.”
Internal and external rules others taught you to follow based on their own models and perspectives of the world.
Every innovator, inventor, visionary, artist, musician, successful entrepreneur, leader –
Broke the rules at one point or another.
That’s why we look up to them and allow them to inspire and motivate us.
That’s why we hang on to their blogs, videos and content because we want to know:
How did they do it? How did they MAKE their own way and succeed?
At one point during their own walk, they looked around and saw everyone doing the same things.
They tried to play by the rules and tried to do things the way it had always been done until one day the realized they couldn’t.
Something inside of them was never happy, entertained, complete or the least bit satisfied with the regular, normal way of doing things.
But most walk that path to find their own way.
And that way is what made them stand apart from the crowd.
Doing it their way opened more minds and wallets than previously recorded accomplishments by similar successes.
They got to where they are by doing what others said couldn’t be done.
But not from a place of unworthiness, self hate and self destruction.
Not from a place of having to prove a damn thing to anyone –
From a place of passion, service and purpose.
From a place of KNOWING within that there is more to it and feeling a responsibility to find it and share it with the world.
Because they’d rather die than live in a world where they have to have, do and be like everyone else.
It’s against their religion.
They’re allergic to it.
Robots and Zombies everywhere!
The thought? BARF
If they hadn’t broken the rules, we wouldn’t know them and be impacted by them today.
If they hadn’t followed their inner guide, ignored the critics, haters and nay-sayers, and done what others wouldn’t or hadn’t even thought of?
We wouldn’t be in awe of their existence and gifts to the world today.
We wouldn’t be celebrating their lives and remembering them long after they’re gone.
We wouldn’t feel so triggered and called to break our rules and unleash what’s waiting inside.
SO, JUST ASK YOURSELF:
Are you playing by someone else’s rules, or your own?
In your mind, emotions, habits, the way you treat your body and in your spirituality –
are you still running on auto-pilot like a good little mindless robot, allowing yourself to be guided, pushed and shoved by old subconscious programing; and opinions, expectations and demands from the world that no longer serve you?
Decisions you made when you were a child and watched your family members move, respond and react to the world –
Rules you decided were the way the world works during a hardship, traumatic event or period in your life when you had to learn to survive –
Non-negotiable things you tell yourself about your health, wellness and body image because it “runs in the family,” or “everybody has it.”
How you ask yourself at times if you have ever really known or will come to know true love (and not the kind you feel for your kids or pets) because what you’ve experienced to date can’t be ‘IT’
DON’T YOU SEE?!?
If you are not doing things YOUR way, you’re doing them somebody else’s.
Whether that’s an old version of someone you are desperately trying not to be anymore, your parents, ex, church — NOT YOU. NOT 100%.
And I’m not sorry, but nobody’s way is EVER going to be better than yours.
You don’t have to treat and feel about money, success, life, health, and love the same way your parents, grandparents, ex partner or church told you is the ONLY way.
You don’t have to keep doing ANYTHING whatsoever that isn’t aligned with your core values and deepest desires.
YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO FOLLOW, YOU WERE MADE TO LEAD — YOURSELF AND OTHERS
If you know that you are NOT doing things in ALL areas of your life 100% your way, and trust me, you DO KNOW; the only thing left to do is be brutally real with yourself about what you must do next to change that.
Because you weren’t meant to exist in this lifetime miserable, ill, unhealthy, fat, broke, alone and hanging onto your dreams as if they were never going to be possible for you.
You were given a dream because God had that dream for you, too.
And you were given the freedom to choose from a plethora of opportunities that either make you a MAGNET to what you want, or REPEL it all farther away.
You just have to decide.
And then decide again.
And when it feels scary and hard, do what?
But don’t keep breaking your own heart by making promises to yourself that you have already broken ten thousand times.
Don’t “decide” like you do when you read a meme on social media that triggers something within you, but you forget 3 seconds later when your auto-pilot rules tell you to keep scrolling at 100mph.
Decide that you are going to keep deciding.
Decide that you are going to back that decision everyday, with aligned action — even when you don’t feel like it.
And especially, when the voice in your head tells you that it’s too hard, too scary, too unknown, you don’t have all the bullet points, you don’t have every single little thing figured out! ← THAT’S the voice of the old rules pulling you back.
Flip it the bird, and follow your heart and soul.
God gave you a compass to your big dreams and goals long before you became clear on what they are.
Use them ❤
Life is a game. Break all the rule.https://calendly.com/vanessarende