You can’t control every thought that comes in.
Even the best mindset experts can’t tell you how to stop negative and disempowering thoughts altogether because it’s impossible.
You can’t know, in advance when something negative is going to pop up, and lead you down the path to fear, doubt, resistance, laziness, and everything else that results from allowing your thoughts to run free.
We weren’t designed with mental warning systems. We were deigned to run on subconscious programming created from thousands of past decisions we’ve made since the time we were children until now.
And, everyday, we automatically make these decisions without giving them a second thought or glance because, well, that’s just the way we’ve always done it.
We check out while driving, but somehow manage to stay within the speed limit and obey all the traffic signs, even though we were somewhere else mentally.
We don’t tell our lungs to breath or our hearts to beat, just like we don’t think twice about what side of the bed we pick, the leg we shake profusely up and down, or the song we keep repeating in our minds.
We are, essentially, on auto-pilot each day 95% + of the time, making big and small decisions automatically.
So when stress, worry and other disempowering thoughts creep up in your mind, you default to the current programing.
You let those thoughts take you by the hand and lead you down the rabbit whole of thinking more disempowering and negative thoughts.
You convince yourself that obsessing about it, stress and constant worry over the matter is the normal, expected, and the right thing you must do in order to resolve the matter.
You become engulfed in an energy of lack.
You lack certainty. You lack peace-of-mind. You lack confidence. You lack security. You lack FAITH.
You surrender to the feelings of lack because you don’t see the answer to the problem right then and there, so your awareness, focus and energy keep you in lack.
Thoughts = Feelings = Actions = Results
Those thoughts naturally evolve into emotions, which soon reflect in the decisions you make and the actions you take, and finally, in the results you get in anything and everything you do.
It’s a vicious cycle that we get so used to, most people have surrendered to it completely.
They’ve accepted that they are a product of their environment and can’t find it within themselves to acknowledge and accept the radical personal responsibility necessary to start doing something about it.
If it were easy to consciously turn the switch, more people would do it. But you can’t take an ant to an elephant fight.
We have all been there at one point or another –
Looking around at our lives and blaming something or someone other than the person in the mirror because the programming runs so deep, we are blinded by it until something clicks, we hit rock-bottom, and we get so tired of our own bullshit that we decide to remove the blinders, pay closer attention, and do what it takes to shift.
This morning, stress and worry tried to pop into my mind as soon as I opened my eyes.
It wasn’t anything major, mostly all the stuff on my plate, but nothing I was ready or willing to manage at that moment.
I could feel the anxiety slowly creeping through my body as my heart began to react by beating a bit faster than I wanted it to.
My breathing was shallow for a few minutes before I noticed and changed it.
I knew that even though I had noticed the thoughts, I had still allowed them to visit for too long. Although I saw what was happening, I was still frozen in the BS and not guiding myself away from that fast enough.
The morning is my time of connection, reflection, and embodiment. I don’t plug myself into the world until I know for certain that I am securely plugged into myself, first.
I don’t read or answer texts, calls, talk about managing money, businesses, or to-do stuff; and, I definitely don’t check emails, get on social media or talk to anyone I don’t have to. Thank God for assistants!
That time for me is non-negotiable. I know who I am when I don’t take it, and making that sacrifice is not aligned for me.
My energy is sacred to me because I know it’s value in my life, my parenting, my purpose work.
So sensing that my heart was beating at a pace not conducive to that inner state
I crave and NEED, another thought/reminder popped into my head and instantly calmed me down:
“You can’t control the negative thoughts that come in, but you can pay better attention, and do something about it faster.”
“That’s so true,” I responded to myself out loud.
Of course, I already knew this, and have known it for some time, but it was a timely reminder that I knew I had to share with you because it is EVERYTHING.
It is so easy to let one single thought of negativity, fear, doubt, sadness, stress, mistrust, etc., turn into a full blown experience you feel in your body and manifest throughout your day.
It is so easy to let one ill feeling from an event, conversation, situation, whatever, stay with you throughout the day and impact everything you do, whether you consciously realize it or not.
How different would your life be if you got better at letting all that shit go?
How different would your days be if you trained yourself to guide your thoughts more methodically and rapidly?
How different would you feel if those pesky, annoying, stressful, obsessive thoughts went poof just as fast as they snuck into your mind, and were replaced with EMPOWERING thoughts that send butterflies to your stomach and tingles of anticipation and excitement throughout your body?
How different would your habits and daily actions be if you became so good at guiding anything and everything that doesn’t serve you, away and into thoughts and beliefs that elevate you?
Your perspective would shift by the minute. You’d find yourself with miracles, favor, and next level news falling on your lap left and right.
How do I know this? Because guiding your thoughts and emotions is the secret to tapping into who you really are and living the life you want to live.
How to Guide Your Thoughts in Four Steps
- Notice the negative/disempowering thought as soon as it comes in. You will know it is a disempowering thought by its nature of negativity, by the other negative thoughts that may accompany it, and/or by the way it starts to make you feel emotionally and/or physiologically.
- In the instant that you know you are aware of what is happening, guide the thought away by removing its power. You can do this by stating the opposite (something positive and empowering even if you don’t believe it – say it), and disproving it.
- If you realize that the disempowering thought has already turned into a feeling in your body, or an unwanted emotional state, be gentle with yourself. Feel what you need to feel, release it, and then guide yourself back to remembering that it was only the thought that took you there, and thought can take you back to peace and joy.
- Repeat with every single negative, fearful, doubtful, and disempowering thought/feeling you have throughout the day, everyday, for the rest of your life.
YES, repeat until you die.
It gets easier, it gets addictive, and in case you’re wondering, yes, it becomes more and more automatic because gradually, you are changing your programming.
And just as you defaulted to stress and worry and feelings of lack countless times before via repeated decisions that led to your old programming, this process, with discipline and consistently, will re-program you to default to empowering, positive thoughts and reminders of just how powerful you are in creating the life you want.
You don’t have to keep playing the game of life running on that old programming and rules for survival. You get to thrive staring TODAY.
You get to change things up whenever you decide. You get to play this life the way you want and win every time. You get to choose what thoughts you allow to visit, stay and create your life around.
You always get to choose.
Life is a game. Break all the rules.
xx – V
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