It’s so easy to get caught up on how broken we are from our childhood programming, past pains, hardships, and traumas, especially when we live, eat and breath self-awareness, a quest for higher consciousness, and personal development; and, when we fully embrace the undying hunger to demand more of ourselves because we know we are made for it.
People like us seem like we are never satisfied to the world. We are too much. We go too far. We are extra – they say.
They look at us and wonder why. Why we work so “hard,” give so much, share so much, do what we do, how we do it.
Why is there always a next level to reach for.
Why we can’t “just be happy.”
They just don’t get it.
Maybe they weren’t chosen. Maybe they’re choosing not to answer their calling. Maybe they are so lost in the confusion of trying to continually claw their way out of their current reality that they believe they don’t even have a calling to answer.
Either way, the path we walk is not meant for everyone and that’s for certain.
I can’t count how many times I have overwhelmed myself to the point of giving up, only to wake up the next morning, wanting to slap myself because I know I know better.
Too many times, those who are called for more, give up and choose to stay down. Wasted potential, lost dreams, forgotten soul purposes.
For us, being stuck in that nothingness is 1000 times more painful than putting ourselves out there, real, raw, naked for the world to see what we choose to let them see.
Some people spend their entire lives trying to like themselves. Trying to understand who they are and what they are here to have, do and BE.
And for the ones like us, knowing that we are made for more than where we feel stuck might as well be a prison we are perpetually trying to escape.
Today as I was thinking about a event I am having next year, it was like a lightning bolt hit me, and clearly, I saw the message:
“NO. Focus. Yes.”
I said I saw it clearly. I didn’t say it made sense to me…. at first.
After a few seconds, I realized exactly what it meant, though.
It was a clear fork in the road to that nothingness, a path, an arrow, pointing me towards how I was meant to harness the discipline to continually purge the old me, and embody the real me.
How we, the collective, are meant to chunk down the personal and professional self-growth overwhelm, and stay grounded in a connection to ourselves and our souls.
You see, we live in a world where scrolling for hours on our phones and staring a TV for even longer has become the norm. We are so busy being busy, we basically live our lives chasing the distractions, temptations and avoidance.
And when we are plugged into the world, the farther we are from being plugged into the only source of clarity we need: ourselves.
“Be like a tree. Let the dead leaves drop.”– Rumi
Misalignment is the silent thief of clarity, direction and purpose action.
If we can commit to and develop the discipline of saying no to what no longer serves us, or never served us to begin with, we can immediately see leaps forward in the direction of who we really are and the live we are meant to create and live.
But the longer we continue saying maybe and yes, when we really want to say no, the longer we spend in the abyss of unhappiness because we are not living the life we know we are meant to and we are not being the version of ourselves we were made to be.
So many great minds and beautiful souls wasted the opportunities and blessings that waited them because they didn’t want it bad enough to say no.
Any reason, excuse, or story you can tell yourself as to why you should EVER say maybe or yes when it’s really a NO, is self-sabotage and 100% BULLSHIT.
Why? Because there isn’t a reason, excuse or story great enough to surpass the fact that you know what feeds your soul and what doesn’t.
Even in a moment of confusion, you DO know, if for YOU, it (whatever *it* is for you) is meant to be a yes or NO.
Stop saying maybe when you really wan to say no.
Stop saying yes when you really want to say hell no.
Stop feeling guilty for wanting and needing to say no.
Stop explaining yourself and your NO.
Stop not back yourself and your NO 100%.
Stop feeling like you are wrong because your NO may offend, disappoint or hurt someone – you are not responsible for anyone’s feelings, options or expectations.
But you are 100% responsible for you, where you’re at now, and what you are going to do to get where you want to be.
Say NO to anything, everything and everyone that doesn’t serve you, your dreams, your next level.
Say NO even if it’s uncomfortable.
Say NO even if it stings a little.
Say NO even if you lose them.
Say NO even if and when the world doesn’t understand, judges, hates and talks.
Say NO because you know you want and deserve better, and it is your responsibility to give that to yourself, no one else’s.
Say NO and choose to believe that you deserve and are worthy of what you desire.
Say NO if it causes, pushes, encourages you to settle for anything less.
“The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”– Socrates
When you enter into a fully irrevocable marriage with self-mastery, the first thing you realize is how important it is to be tuned into where your focus is at all times.
You start to notice when your thoughts slip, why your emotions take over, and how bad habits run you on auto-pilot.
You begin to see all the situations, relationships, and choices in your life where you really don’t want your energy to be, but have allowed your focus to remain.
You constantly wonder, notice, and try to adjust.
Tony Robbins says that wherever your focus goes, your energy flows. Meaning, the moment we focus on something, it has us. And if we are not doing whatever it takes to continually know, see and guide that awareness and focus, we get sucked back into the world.
We go back on auto-pilot, doing the same things, thinking the same thoughts, feeling the same feelings and getting the same results in our personal and professional lives.
Your focus should be your 24/7 focus.
To achieve that level of mastery is a life-long commitment. For in every moment, you must tune in, and get clear on what you truly desire; then be certain of where your focus is, why and for how long it should be there.
Saying it and reason it is so much easier than it sounds. I spent the past two years changing myself more than ever to become the master of my focus. I gave up eve more of the little TV I was watching, I listed my time on social media, created a new morning routine, and gave myself an earlier bedtime – all in the name of mastering my focus, and I know I am not done.
I can list all of the changes I’ve made here and am still working on making to master my focus, but the point of this message isn’t to tell you what you must do to master your focus, it’s to open your eyes, so that you see where, when, and how you’ve been mishandling yours.
The difference between those who are called and answer, and those who do not, is focus.
Now I understand why people that lack focus look at highly-disciplined people like they have two heads
They are not willing to do whatever it takes.
They aren’t hungry for it.
They don’t want it bad enough.
STOP being one of them, and start choosing to do whatever it takes regardless of how scary, uncomfortable and unknown it may seem like at first.
Set 100 alarms. Get an accountability partner. Hire a mentor who can kick your ass, show you love and show you your blind spots. Challenge yourself to break free from the same old patterns and change your focus, little-by-little everyday.
Stop giving way your focus to anything, everything and anyone that does not serve your purpose, values and dreams.
Challenge yourself to look at your life with a magnifying glass, looking at every move you make and every step you take in audit of the focus you want to shift.
In every moment, situation, and second of the day, there are endless opportunities and unlimited possibilities that depend solely on the choices you make, which are a direct result of the focus you’ve invested.
The perfect time to go after your dreams is right now: scared, clueless, unsure of the how, and totally clear about what you want.– Vanessa Rende
As often as we get stuck in misalignment, saying no when we should say yes, we also allow ourselves to get stuck saying no, when it should be yes.
We have and endless record playing in our minds about what is the right thing to do, what is responsible; what is best for everyone else; what will stir the pot less; what will gain the least negative exposure; what we “should” do.
When was the last time you said yes first and dusted off all that other shit like it didn’t matter because you were following your soul, and even blindfolded, you knew it was the only way to go?
The only way to fully purge the old self and embody the next level you, is to say yes before you’re ready and dive.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
You see, anything that can come up for you to get in between something you really want and know in your heart of hearts that its meant to be yours, is a LIE –
Fear, limiting beliefs and old programming you still haven’t shed.
Think back to a time when you’ve wanted something so bad and had no idea how it was going to happen, but it happened.
Somewhere inside yourself you decided that none of that (fear, limiting beliefs and old programming) mattered, and that it was going to be yours despite all that noise.
We forget those instances when we literally make magic happen. We forget how powerful we are. We forget how strong the frequency of certainty is and how far it emits.
Want to know a secret? If you apply that concept to every area of your life, choosing only what’s aligned for you, what feeds your soul and what sets you on fire, you will be what you’ve always been: limitless.
If you know in your heart and soul that it is what you want, say YES.
Say YES and ask questions later.
Say YES first and think later.
Say YES even when it’s scary AF.
Say YES even when you don’t know where the money will come from.
Say YES when you want to overthink every detail in search of a non-existent state of perfection.
Say YES when the world keeps telling you it can’t be done, but you know you can do it with your eyes closed.
Say YES when logistically it makes no sense.
Say YES when you have no idea how you will go from one extreme to the other.
Say YES when you know it can ONLY be a YES.
Say YES when saying anything else is an insult to your soul.
Say YES to exactly what you want or BETTER – never less.
Say YES because its what you really fucking want and that is it.
Say YES to anything and everything that expands you.
Say YES to doing it your way and breaking the rules.
Say YES because giving one moment to stress, worry and constant obsession over exactly just HOW it’s going to happen is not your business, concern or what your next move should be based on.
Say YES to something new, outside the walls of your comfort zones, and unknown DAILY.
Say YES to finding the way back home to yourSELF.
Saying YES in surrender and faith repeatedly.